Gautham: Bill Gauthier.com

Hello, friends.

The last week of July is upon us.

*Dabs at eyes*

This week is going to be a little busy as G has a minor surgery at the end of the week so there’ll be prepping and such beforehand. And there’s always plenty of creative work to do. So, let’s get into it.

Welcome to the 183^rd installment of Gauthic Times, the newsletter about my writing, my life, and musings about free-time decisions. If you’re a reader who subscribes via Substack, my website, or Patreon, your encouragement helps motivate me. I’m not breaking any records but I’m thankful to have any audience.

Thank you.

Supporting creators is so important right now. As such, I would love if you became a paid-Patron on my Patreon.

Support the arts and this writing journey…

Paid-Patrons get exclusive daily check-ins about works-in-progress including the actual names of my works-in-progress and not just codenames. I also show art that I do.

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The Monster in the Closet is out now! Order it here!

You can also grab my novel Echoes on the Pond, my collection Catalysts, or my novellas Alice on the Shelf and Shadowed if you haven’t already. And if you’ve read them, please consider leaving a review on Amazon or Goodreads, and wherever else books are sold and reviewed.

You could also read the first draft of Four Moons on Patreon. It’s a werewolf story and I think it’s fun. It is a first draft, though. If you’re interested, Patrons at the $5 tier and above have access but there is also a way to buy into the whole book for $13.99. You don’t have to be a long-term Patron for that second option.

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I went through more of Four Moons, editing and tightening the book. I’m around 80 pages through it. There were some particularly challenging parts during this week’s sessions. The kinds of sessions that makes me have to go and read kind things people have said about my writing because otherwise I’d doubt my ability.

Project: Memoir got around 5,500 words added to it this week, bringing the total to 16,800 words. I’m still thinking of serializing the first draft on Patreon.

Last week, I mentioned that I post this newsletter to Substack, my website, and Patreon. It doesn’t really take me a long time to do the posting once the newsletter is written but I have to wonder if it’d be easier for you, the readers, if it was all in one place.

I’m thinking of moving the newsletter to Patreon.

What are your thoughts?

Would you follow me there if I stopped posting it on Substack and my website?

Having the newsletter in one place helps me communicate with you.

Please let me know.

I may make a separate post about this during the coming week. Maybe set it up as a poll.

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***

We’re turning the corner of summer vacation with about a month (or less) left, which means the sadness is beginning to come in like storm clouds. I’ve been steadily busy all vacation, either recovering from the last school year, reading, or writing. It’s been good. Yet, I feel like I haven’t done as much as I wanted to. Part of it comes from indecision.

Even with a small to-do list always at my workstation, even with all the ideas in my head, even with all the things I have to do around the apartment, there are times when I find myself in a holding pattern, trying to figure out what to do. It shouldn’t be this difficult, should it?

Part of it is the overabundance of ideas and concepts I have. By choosing one, I’m ignoring the other several. I intended to revolve some of the projects as I made my way through and I have, just not enough.

Another part of it is my workspace itself. In the living room/dining room. Even with my headphones and music, it’s easy to get distracted. The TV, the Nintendo Switch, the various things going on constantly around me during the day can be distracting. I’m hesitant to change locations because I like the big monitor over the MacBook’s smaller display. Also, there aren’t really any other locations in the apartment. I could go into my bedroom and use a folding desk/table I got for just such a move, but I find sitting in the bed working doesn’t always work well for my back.

This leads me to the things I need to around the apartment. I need to really go through books and collections and such in order to clear things out and move things around. I could, maybe, but the desk in the bedroom. I no longer work after everyone goes to bed because everyone goes to bed too late now. I’m fine with that. It’s just that my bedroom is a bit too small for a desk setup, even with things cleaned. I could probably find away, but….

The apartment stuff is daunting. I live with two people who are majorly allergic to dust, so when I do anything that involve kicking up dust—which cleaning inevitably does—I feel bad because of how poorly the most important people in my life react to the dust. But that’s really just an excuse. It’s fucking hard to move boxes around, go through them, weed stuff out, put them in other boxes for donation, and all the rest. I grow too warm, I ache too much, and I generally feel like crap afterward.

Yet, it needs to get done. The clock is ticking.

But to do that might mean neglecting my writing, which I don’t want to do. But there’s so much that I want to do with it, I freeze and sit and think and nothing gets done. And, wait! There’s art stuff I want to do, like get better at drawing and learn to ink, and maybe make some comic books for myself and friends, and….

And there’s the wall.

I’ve been able to start the memoir that I wanted to write. As of this writing, I’ve written about 17,000 words, around 60ish pages. It’s about how pop culture has led me to where I am right now. It’s been fun. If you like these essays, you’ll probably like this book once it’s done. I’ve thought about posting chapters to Patreon like I did with the first draft of Four Moons.

Speaking of Four Moons, I’ve been editing the manuscript for a second draft. The intention of this novel was simple: write an interesting werewolf story like I’ve always wanted to. I did that. Now it’s time to clean it up.

I also made a couple of videos about the process for Patreon, which I enjoyed. I’ve researched agents and have attempted to reach out to people in the field despite anxiety about it and intend to do more.

But then I feel like I’m ignoring my family, which bums me out. I want to be present and available. But there’s only so much time, definitely not much energy, and I need to keep going because….

The wall.

All of this goes through my head all day, every day. Before the thoughts become a whirlwind that creates an anxiety attack, I remind myself that I can only do what I can. That I’ve done (and do) more than many people I know, who chose/choose to push their passions to the side to focus on the fucked-up world we live in, especially in the United States.

There isn’t really a correct way to do things and comparing myself to others certainly won’t help. Writing these essays as pep talks to myself helps a little (and gives me something for the newsletter besides What Bill Is Doing This Week).

So I just keep going, doing the best that I can and hoping that I can do better. It’s all I can do.

***

That’s this week’s newsletter. Thank you so much for subscribing, reading, and for your support. Be safe out there, friends.

If you’d like to be a part of making my dream of creating full-time a reality, become a Patron on my Patreon, which has a lot more information about my works-in-progress and the books I’ll be querying, including titles and some simple, non-spoiler details.

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