Hello, friends.
The 2025-2026 school year is winding down. As a teacher and a parent, there’s a sense of endings. The season finale will soon be upon us and one hopes there’ll be no season-ending cliffhanger. I’m still reeling from last year’s.
The world around grows increasingly more terrifying and getting through more difficult. That’s what today’s essay is about. So, let’s get to it.
Welcome to the 177th installment of Gauthic Times, the newsletter about my writing, my life, and ending this bonkers school year. If you’re a reader who subscribes via Substack, my website, or Patreon, your encouragement helps motivate me. I’m not breaking any records but I’m thankful to have any audience.
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As I write in today’s essay, little actual writing happened this week except for editing the synopsis for Project: Amusement Park. There’ll be more of that this weekend or next week. My mind keeps returning to other projects I hope to attempt soon, once I’m not so exhausted.
Trust me, though, things are going to happen.
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As of this writing, I have seven more days of the 2025-2026 school year left. Had we not had that blizzard in February, I’d be on summer vacation right now. That’s not a complaint. I needed that extra week back in February. Of course, I need that summer vacation right now. Oh, the conundrum. As I’ve written throughout this year, it has been one for the record books. Every year since 2019 has gotten more difficult with the students, the internal struggles, the sense that very little matters…it’s been tough. There’s been good and I’ve changed in some significant ways, I think, making me a better person, but I’m tired. I’m so, so tired.
The internal fights have been soul-sucking and never-ending. From the immediate colleague who seems hellbent on finding enemies within to being asked to fail a student in order to help them, even though I believe they’re being helped right now in many ways. The students have been wonderful at times and nightmares at others. Oh, and the air conditioner in my classroom went kaput. I hate heat. I’ve spent the last few days in hot, humid, teenage funk on top of all the other things I’ve mentioned. It’s been a time. I ask myself what would Harlan Ellison or Brian Keene do? How do I fix things or, at least, alleviate the pressure?
Getting through has involved napping and losing myself in other worlds. Reading, watching good stories, and checking in on my own make-believe worlds have helped me get through the careening feel of this school year, especially now. Sadly, I don’t feel like I’ve written any fiction of any significance for a few months, yet the fictional worlds and storied are very much alive.
Working on a synopsis for Project: Amusement Park keeps me connected with that particular story. Trying to edit it down to something that seems logical and tells the story while expressing my writing skills has been tough, but I think I’ve figured out a method that may work for me. We’ll see, I guess.
I’ve also thought a lot about the stories I want to write, the novels Project: Nightmares and Project: Storyteller. Particularly Nightmares. The characters have begun to faintly reveal themselves. At least one of them may require a lot of research to get their point-of-view correct, but that’s cool.
There are also the short stories I need to submit, revise, and write. Basically, if I wasn’t so tapped by the school year, I’d be going through a very productive period. I still feel as though I am. The emotional toll is great, especially when one considers what the United States is going through right now.
I’ll probably have student loan bills soon that I won’t be able to afford. All the things Joe Biden put in place (which were lame but helpful; dude could’ve forgiven most student loans and really kickstarted the economy) are getting thrown out and despite the years-long forbearance as the courts tried to protect us, those are going away. How much will my loans be? When will I begin to (not) pay them? Who knows? Those websites are like health insurance websites in that they’re mazes that I don’t think anyone really understands. They’re designed to extort money, that’s all.
And don’t get me started on health insurance. Spending more and more money and getting less and less in return sucks. But that’s the American Way now, right? And in the face of it all, I need to “teach” in conditions that are insane. And I’m at a good school! I can only imagine what it’s like at other schools that don’t have the privilege my school gets.
So the only real way to get through, to stop the dizziness of all this careening, is to escape into sleep and fantasy worlds. In seven school days (not including weekends and a holiday), I will slip into recovery mode but also writing work mode. I intend to leave Mr. Gauthier mostly behind for several weeks and focus on being a husband, father, and writer.
Knowing I’m not alone in this helps, too. I know others feel the same way. I send them love and hope. May our ethics stay intact even if our morals may fail. May our love overcome hate, our hope overcome fear, and our resolve not be beaten. Refresh, resist, rebel, and revolt. That’s what we need right now.
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That’s this week’s newsletter. Thank you so much for subscribing, reading, and for your support. Be safe out there, friends.
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Gautham: Bill Gauthier.com 
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