Hello, friends.
This past week was a nice short one thanks to Good Friday and having to take my 13-year-old for a medical appointment an hour or so away. This coming week…brrrr. The Day Job will be trying, I’m sure. Meetings and what I suspect will be annoying things coming from all angles. But the end of the week will be fun with an appearance at a library. This week’s essay is more of a list of thoughts that didn’t want to be essays on their own.
So, happy Easter (if you celebrate) and let’s get into this week’s shenanigans.
Welcome to the 167th installment of Gauthic Times, the newsletter about my writing, my life, and a stream-of-consciousness hodgepodge of musings. If you’re a reader who subscribes via Substack, my website, or Patreon, your encouragement helps motivate me. I’m not breaking any records but I’m thankful to have any audience.
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I did some short story market research this week. Why does it feel more difficult to find short story markets than it did twenty, even thirty years ago? Have I become that old? Anyway, I’ve found some interesting ones, one that even has my subconscious playing with an idea. We’ll see if it becomes anything.
I suspect that because of the Day Job’s various meetings and bull—uh…stuff—that there won’t be much serious writing work done. April vacation, though only two weeks away, feels like an eternity.
I’ve been designing some signs and such for the upcoming event so a lot of my writing work has been more graphic design related. Such is life.
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This week’s essay will be less an essay rather than meandering musings of the mind. (I did not intend to use alliteration there but when it came up, how could I not?) We’re heading into the second week of April and it feels like spring. My sliding door is open to the outside and I hear birdsong. I can almost forget about the war in Iran and the United States’s descent into authoritarianism.
I’m looking forward to this week at the Day Job. A meeting after school on Monday will probably become contentious and I’m steeling myself. Then on Wednesday, the Day Job has a twice-yearly nighttime meeting that I despise but need to take part in. A late day. Just the general insanity of the recent school years is making it difficult but it feels even more so now. How will I get through?
That’s not a rhetorical question. I really am wondering. I mean, I know imagination has something to do with it. Removing myself when needed to getting lost in my stories and worlds will act as an escape. Being a wiseass and funny motherfucker can also help. Mostly, I don’t know. I’ll Indiana Jones it.
Next Saturday I’ll be making an appearance at the Somerset Public Library local author event and sitting on my first panel. At least, I think it’s my first panel. Have I done one before? I don’t think so. How sad is that? I mean, I’ve never done a convention or anything. There was that conversation with Brennan LaFaro in February but that wasn’t really a panel. So, yeah, my first panel. It’s called “Oh! The Horror!” I suspect we’ll be talking about horror. Here’s where I’ll be exposed as the poseur I suspect I really am.
As of this writing, The Monster in the Closet is available everywhere in ebook but only on Amazon in print. I’m told this will change. I’m told that the paperback will be available to order everywhere. When? “It takes time,” I’m told. That said, I’m supposed to have paperback copies of the novel at Saturday’s event. We’ll sell ‘em to you. I’ll even sign the thing if you want. Ask nicely and I may even draw a little doodle of the monster or something.
Have you seen Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band’s opening songs from the Land of Hope and Dreams American Tour? They livestreamed the first two songs from the opening night in Minneapolis. It was amazing. I bought the recording of the whole concert but haven’t listened to it yet.
Speaking of listening, I’ve been listening to the audiobook of Stephen King and Peter Straub’s first collaboration, The Talisman, read by Frank Muller. With the trilogy being wrapped up in October, and having just finished listening to The Dark Tower books on audio, I figured this was a good follow-up. I read the novel in my late-teens, early-twenties and felt lukewarm about it. There were parts I remembered loving and parts I felt slogged. In the current listening, I find I still don’t love the entirety of the book (so far—the Sunlight Home section just ended [I think] and ____ died in ____’s arms; that I remembered and that still hits hard, right here and now). I remember loving Black House when it came out in 2001 (the week a certain terrorist attack changed the United States forever, bringing about authoritarianism) and am looking forward to listening to that when I’m through with Black House. There is a sense that these two powerhouse writers were trying to compete with each other as they wrote and novel, which refers to The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and The Adventures of Tom Sawyer throughout, is more episodic than many of their books. As a result, one incident leads to another and another but there doesn’t always feel like a story completely being built. Still, the parts that work fuckin’ sing and I’m really enjoying it.
My older daughter turns 28 this weekend. That blows my mind. I’ll be turning 49 in August, which seems kinda fucked to me, too, but being a parent to a 28-year-old is really a mindfuck. She’s super-intelligent, funny, and very talented.
Do you ever feel like there’s something that you can almost see and take but it’s just out of reach? I’ve been having that feeling for a long time now and I wonder when will I be able to finally take it? Or should I just ignore it and move on?
Speaking of moving on, I’ve spent around 800 words writing this. I know none of it is original and these are thoughts and ideas that millions of people have, but I’ve always found comfort in sharing these feelings with the hope that maybe someone else needs to see that they’re not alone on this day. I’ve been struggling a long time now but keep finding solace in words from others as well as my own, and that makes things better. I hope it does for you, too.
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As I mentioned above, I’ll be participating in an Author Fair at the Somerset Public Library in Somerset, Massachusetts, on Saturday, April 11th from 10am to 2pm. I’ll be there with my books to sell and sign. I’ll also participate in a panel discussion at 11am called “Oh, The Horror!” It should be a lot of fun and I’m looking forward to it.
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That’s this week’s newsletter. Thank you so much for subscribing, reading, and for your support. Be safe out there, friends.
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Gautham: Bill Gauthier.com 
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