Gauthic Times: The Bill Gauthier Newsletter #161, or Pre-Show Jitters

Hello, friends.

I’m writing this on the Sunday I intend to release it on. Or maybe I’ll release it tomorrow on Monday, instead.

It’s February 22^nd, a date with a lot of meaning for me. Seventeen years ago, I married Pamela in a quiet, semi-secret, very private “ceremony” because the world of 2009 was stupid and we needed to legally be married before our official wedding day in June for health insurance reasons.

In 2019, February 22^nd is the day my mother succumbed to ovarian cancer.

Talk about mixed emotions, right?

I’m writing this with a blizzard barreling toward where I live, which is adding a whole lot more to my already-weird mindset.

The last two days were pretty busy. G had a basketball game that went late Friday night, and then she had another game yesterday morning, followed by a 3-point contest. A few hours later, I was heading west to Fall River, Massachusetts, and Once Upon a Bookstore for the launch of The Monster in the Closet and Brennan LaFaro’s The Denizens. I just wasn’t able to write the newsletter.

But I’m here now and you’re hear now, so let’s do this.

Welcome to the 161^st installment of Gauthic Times, the newsletter about my writing, my life, and worrying about impending publication. If you’re a reader who subscribes via Substack, my website, or Patreon, your encouragement helps motivate me. I’m not breaking any records but I’m thankful to have any audience.

Thank you.

Supporting creators is so important right now. As such, I would love if you became a paid-Patron on my Patreon.

Paid-Patrons get exclusive daily check-ins about works-in-progress including the actual names of my works-in-progress and not just codenames. I also show art that I do.

You can also buy me a coffee through Ko-Fi. 

The Monster in the Closet comes out this Tuesday (!!), February 24^th, and I can’t wait for you to get your hands on it! Preorder it now!

You can also grab my novel Echoes on the Pond, my collection Catalysts, or my novellas Alice on the Shelf and Shadowed if you haven’t already. And if you’ve read them, please consider leaving a review on Amazon or Goodreads, and wherever else books are sold and reviewed.

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I went through nearly 100 pages of Project: Amusement Park this week, cutting about 300 more words. I have about 150 pages left to revise/edit for the third draft. Much of this week was spent on two difficult chapters. I’m not sure if they work but I think they do.

The first draft of Four Moons concludes on Patreon today. It’s a werewolf story and I think it’s fun. It is a first draft, though. If you’re interested, Patrons at the $5 tier and above have access but there is also a way to buy into the whole book for $13.99, and you’ll be notified when new installments are posted. You don’t have to be a long-term Patron for that second option.

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TUESDAY!!!

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“You must be excited for the release of the book.” This was said to me last night at least once. I was at an event at Once Upon a Bookstore in Fall River, Massachusetts, with author Brennan LaFaro. We’re both launching new books and conversed about them. His novel The Denizens was released last week. My novel The Monster in the Closet is coming this Tuesday, February 24^th. They had copies of The Denizens but not The Monster in the Closet. I was fine with that because it is what it is. But the statement/question of whether I’m excited for the novel’s release evokes strange emotions.

Am I excited? Yes. Very much so. I can’t wait to hold physical copies of the book in my hand. The Monster in the Closet means a lot to me and the reception it’s received so far as been beyond my wildest dreams. I feel like if it finds its way into readers’ hands that it’ll do well. Beyond that, though, this is a story I’ve had in me since I was 16/17 and it’ll be amazing to finally see it out in the world and to hold it.

I keep coming back to holding the book. There really is nothing like holding a copy of a book with your name on the cover that someone else is paying you to put out. It probably sounds clichéd to say that but that’s because it’s true. When I was 13 and setting up my typewriter on two milk crates, I dreamed of having that. At 16/17 when I began the very first version of The Monster in the Closet, sitting at my Smith Corona electronic typewriter on the card table that I’d commandeered from my parents as an upgrade to the milk crates, I certainly dreamed that someday, maybe I’d have the book in my hands. Although I knew at that age that book wouldn’t be the one published. I had a lot more learning to do.

Fast forward 30 years and the third version of the book is coming out. I’m excited to put it with my other books, its siblings. It’s a testament to the work I’ve put in and that I continue to put in. So, yes, I’m excited.

But…

A part of me doesn’t feel much toward it. In many ways, the release is just another day. Maybe it’s my subconscious way of relieving me of the burden of having hopes dashed that no one buys it or reads it. Maybe it’s because the book has so much of me in the it and a testament to the time it was written that I’m not able to face its release. Maybe it’s my way of staying grounded. There are hundreds of books published every week. The Monster in the Closet is just another one.

And a part of me is nervous. Yes, Christopher Golden, Eric LaRocca, Brennan LaFaro, and Greg F. Gifune have all liked it. Yes, Publishers Weekly liked it. That is huge to me. Their voices have joined the chorus of friends who’ve read it and believe it’s a special book. But selling books is hard. What if no one else reads it? Or if they read it, what if they don’t like it or, worse, it doesn’t register anything with them, like or dislike?

Once the book (or story or any artwork) is out there, I have no control. That’s scary. It can be really scary. I go to places in the book that will offend people. Not everyone, but some. There will be some who think it’s a silly story, or they won’t like elements that kinda go off the rails. That’ll happen and it’s okay, but it’s still not fun to think about.

All that said, I realize as I write this (which is why I write these essays) that excitement is my predominant emotion regarding the upcoming release of The Monster in the Closet. I really am looking forward to readers finding it and meeting Tim, Cleo, and the rest of the characters that inhabit that world.

I’m also really excited about finally holding a copy of the book, too. But you knew that.

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The event at Once Upon A Bookstore in Fall River, Massachusetts, went great! Brennan LaFaro and I had a great conversation as we launched our novels The Denizens and The Monster in the Closet!

I didn’t get to finish reading The Denizens in time for the event but I’m just over halfway through and it’s terrific. Brennan’s writing sings and the story is really good. I’m enjoying the hell out of it.

Here are some photos taken by the bookstore’s proprietor, Serena Dupuis, and posted to their social media accounts:

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That’s this week’s newsletter. If you’re like me and in the areas that will be hit with a blizzard, stay safe and warm. I could recommend some books to get you through…. Thank you so much for subscribing, reading, and for your support. Be safe out there, friends.

If you’d like to be a part of making my dream of creating full-time a reality, become a Patron on my Patreon, which has a lot more information about my works-in-progress and the books I’ll be querying, including titles and some simple, non-spoiler details.

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You can also tip/donate on Ko-Fi.

Get my collection Catalysts, my novellas Alice on the Shelf and Shadowed, and my novel Echoes on the Pond, and preorder my novel The Monster in the Closet, which comes out February 24^th, 2026!

If you haven’t left a review on Amazon, Goodreads, or anyplace else for the books, particularly Echoes on the Pond, please consider doing so. This greatly helps.

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